


Unexpected Otakus

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anime, Anime Watching, Eventual Romance, Humour, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-23
Updated: 2014-11-23
Packaged: 2018-02-26 18:32:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2662139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Dean and Cas watch anime.</p><p>It's as simple as that.</p><p>Really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unexpected Otakus

**Author's Note:**

> Just to make sure you all know this, I know very well how much of a weeaboo I am for writing this fic. I'm 200% weeaboo trash. Or more. I couldn't help myself.
> 
> I'm sorry.
> 
> Anyway, hi! This is my first thing on AO3, so be gentle on my shrekified butthole. I'm going to end up posting this on Wattpad at some point, too. I've just got the same name as I do here. Well, I'll shut up and stop tooting my own horn.
> 
> Also, this is set at some ambiguous time where there is no angst. Cas has his grace, they have the bunker and there's no big relationship bumps or anything. I ain't making myself cry.
> 
> Feel free to point out any spelling or grammar errors. I'm pretty bad at finding them.
> 
> Enjoy~!

Sam woke up groggily in the middle of the night. They'd decided to say in the usual cheap motel over driving for endless hours to get back to the bunker, so he and Dean had to sleep in the same room again, which Sam truly hadn't missed. He groaned as the light from Dean's computer invaded his eyes. His brother was staring intently at the screen and he licked his lips slightly as he leaned closer to it.

Porn.

Of course it was porn. Unless he was catching up on Doctor Sexy, it's all that Dean would watch with such rapt attention. As soon as his eyes had adjusted properly, Sam found that he was right.

Anime Porn.

Again.

Sam sighed in shallow disappointment. He breifly recalled that the proper word for it was 'hentai', but then he remembered that he didnt care, and it was Dean's hentai that ruined what would've been a healthy, fullfilling sleep, even for a normal person. To put it simply, he had ran out of shits to give. He quietly (although he would bet real money that he could've exorcised a demon from a screaming child without getting Dean's attention at that point) fumbled for his trusty eye mask. Honestly, it wasn't the first time that this had happened, what with the clear fact that his brother was a huge pervert, so it was a simple, life saving decision to purchase the thing.

Evidently, the possibility of waking up feeling refreshed was enough to risk being mocked for the rest of his life because "with that hair and that mask you might turn into a real girl Sammy!" Just because it was black silk and was decorated with eyes paved with fake diamonds did not mean that he'd magically grow a vagina, as Sam had conveyed to Dean through a bitch face and eye roll. Anything was better than sitting awake thinking about pink haired girls with boobs and eyes so big that he suspected they'd have to hunt her down one day.

He shivered.

Dear god, Sam would never see the appeal in those babies with balloons stuck to their chest.

* * *

The next day, there was the rarest occurance of all occurances to ever be rare.

They had a day off.

For once, there was no apocalypse to stop, Leviathans to kill, demons brewing trouble, gates to close or world to save as there usually was. Although Dean had that nagging feeling that they were forgetting something, - or some _one_ \- he figured that who or whatever it was could wait. Besides, he had the feeling that it would require going to Hell or sending Cas down there again, neither of which Dean particularly wanted to do.

Sam, being the brother-proclaimed nerd that he was, decided to read, because that's what nerds do. He was too busy nerd-gasming back at the bunker to remember to grab any of the books he was drooling over, so he had decided to use his laptop. Dean summarised that it was rather shifty, how Sam refused to tell him what he was reading. He groaned inwardly at the memory of the fanfiction they'd found. With those memories came the endless 'wincest' novels that Becky would spam them with now that she knew they were real.

Deciding that mental scarring and the requirement of mind bleach wasn't something he wanted, Dean began minding his own business by plugging his head phones in and continuing the series he'd found the night before.

Roughly eight episodes later, Dean heard a worryingly choked gasp. He quickly glanced up to see Sam covering his mouth in horror and silent tears streaming down his face. For whatever reason, he closed his eyes along with the laptop.

"The hell, Sam?"

Sam stood and pointed at Dean in what appeared to be warning, but was ruined by his shaking.

"Never - and I mean _never_ \- play anything that even _sounds_ like Elvis ever again."

Dean cocked an eyebrow at him, "Dude. What's your problem with Elvis? Hell, I'm not exactly a fan, but I could di-"

"STOP RIGHT THERE." Sam screeched dramatically. By now, he was now forming a river of tears. Dean was beginning to worry about additional costs for flooding of the room. The elder raised his arms in defeat.

"Fine, but at least tell me _why._ "

The moose hesitated, blushing slightly, "...No reason." Dean rolled his eyes.

"I'm er...going out for supplies." Sam jerkily lifted his hand as a wave and opened the door.

"Whatever, bitch."

Sam's lips twitched up for a moment before closing the door, "Shut up, jerk."

* * *

Now alone, Dean ripped his headphones out. They only worked in one ear, but, really, anything was better than having a cranky little brother throw everything in arms reach (which, when that brother is a giant, is basically the whole room) at you while grumbling to turn it off. Including the salt. And guns. And knives. Sometimes, Dean wondered if Sam's soul really did come back.

After exhausting the list of suggestions he'd found, Dean took a look at the suggested videos on the page. The one at the top was called 'Bible Black', but the style in the screen shot didn't really catch Dean's eye. Under that was some show called Boku no Pico. Glancing at the views, his eyes widened. _That was a whole lotta people._ He figured that something so popular had to be pretty good. Hot, at least.

And so, he sealed his fate and clicked on the video.

It started with a peppy opening song. The first shot of the girl made him frown slightly. He hoped that she was just flat chested, and not five, like he first thought. Not long after, she was riding a bike, and... if Dean wasn't mistaken... was that a _bulge_ between her legs? He figured that it was just an animation error. He was seeing it wrong. Of course. He decided to focus more on dat ass. When she was in a car, wearing a vest, Dean continuously told himself that she's a legal adult, she just _looks_ young. Some sickos were into that, right?

Now that she was wiggling her but at the screen in a swimsuit, he summarised that the writers really just had a mistaken perception on the female anatomy. As he once again saw her face, pouting cutely, he reinforced the fact that that was _not_ a male face. No way. He pushed his doubts back until she was tied up.

Yes, she was wearing a bra.

Yes, she was wearing panties.

But the shape in those panties looked _too much_ like a dick _not_ to be suspicious.

A few half nude shots of her were shown after that, but there was nothing really telling. A nagging voice in the back of his mind told him that hentai girls weren't usually _that_ flat chested. Suddenly, the nude shot had her and the guy he supposed she would sleep with behind her (who was probably ten times her age) that panned down and...

Oh.

_Oh._

_She isn't a she._

_Chicks do not have dicks._

"Dean, why is that young boy touching that man's penis?"

He'd never admit it, but Dean almost screamed when he heard Castiel's voice without warning _again._ He slammed the computer shut hurriedly.

"DAMN IT CAS."

The angel tilted his head in confusion.

"Dean, I've been standing here since you began watching this animation. I had expected you to notice my presence earlier."

Dean was bright red and Castiel didn't understand why.

"W-Well- we've- we've talked about this, man! You have to at least _say_ that you're coming or at _least_ give some kind of warning, you know?"

"...I know. I forgot. My apologies."

Dean sighed. "It's... fine. Anyway, why are you here? Something popped up?"

Castiel shifted on his feet. "No, I er... just came because I felt like it."

"Oh."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Dean."

"Yeah?"

"...Would you mind... putting that 'show' back on?"

For once, it was Dean staring blankly at Cas.

"...Are you telling me that you want to watch animated gay porn?"

"..."

"Cas."

"...I'm rather curious."

"...So you want to sate your curiousity by watching gay porn?"

"Er.... Yes?"

He sighs and thinks for a while. On one hand, it would be... awkward. Especially if Sam caught him. Dean was fairly certain that if he sat and watched animated gay child porn with an angel, he'd be going to hell.

_Again._

On the other, Cas wasn't as judgemental as most people he knew. Hell, the only reason he was acting nervous at all was because he wanted to watch it. He hadn't even questioned Dean on why he was just casually sitting watching it himself. The guy just wanted to try out some porn - Dean couldn't say anthing - and who could stop him? Besides, if he refused him, he'd ask Sam. That would mean that Sam would discover that his big brother was watching gay porn. _Anime_ gay porn.

He'd never let him live that one down.

So he decided.

"Dean?"

"..."

"...Dean, are you alright?"

"...Okay then."

"...What?"

"C'mon. Let's watch this shit."

Cas frowned. "...Are you sure?"

"Have you changed your mind?"

Cas frowned. "No, it's just-"

"Come on then! Let's get it over with!" He motioned for Cas to get closer.

"...Are you comfortable with watching it?"

"Dude, I would've watched the rest of it if you didn't scare the crap outta me. Hell, it'll be less awkward watching it with someone else."

Cas tilted his head ( _not_ _cutely_ , Dean told himself) in bewilderment. "Why?"

"It's part of the manlympics. One of the main sports is the strength to watch gay porn with another guy. Since you're an angel, I'll get bonus points." When Cas nodded in understanding with a small 'oh', Dean almost felt bad. He opened the laptop to see the episode paused where the boy was standing naked with the older man. He shivered slightly in disgust. Cas pulled up a chair and sat next to him. Dean looked at him.

"...I thought this might make you more comfortable."

"...Okay, Cas. Okay."

For a few awkward moments, they just stared at each other. It wasn't some kind of chessey romantic bullshit that Dean hated where they slowly lean in until their lips touch or whatever (the space between them was little anyway).

"So...er..."

"...Shall we watch it?"

"Y-Yeah."

Dean hit play with dread filling him up. The boy was lying on bed sheets and blinked up at the screen. The opening then ended to show a telephone wires. _So far so good._ It was then an inside window. _Still good._ Extremely sexual pants filled the room. _Oh shit._

"...Why do they have ice cub- are they having sex in the background?" Cas narrowed his eyes at the screen.

"I... have no idea."

"Oh. He hasn't penetrated yet. That means that they haven't had sex." He leaned away again, now that he knew what was going on.

"..."

"Aren't they women's undergarments? Why do they have those? They are both clearly male."

"..."

"...What is he doing with that ice cube? Is that supposed to be pleasurable? Dean, is that pleasurable?"

Dean sighed. "I don't know, Cas. I dont play around with ice cubes."

"Even on your nipples? From the sound of it, it appears to be-"

" _Especially_ on my nipples." He looked at Cas and raised his hand to emphasise his point.

"Ah. Okay."

"..."

"That noise doesn't sound healthy. Are tesicles supposed to make that noice when they're being fondled?"

"It's being exaggerated."

"How?"

"C'mon man, how the hell could I demonstrate that?"

"I... I'm not sure."

"Exactly."

"..."

"..."

"Shouldn't teeth on the nipple inflict pain? How would that feel... good?"

"Wouldn't know. I haven't had someone... y'know..."

"Maybe you should get someone to try it."

"..." Dean closed his eyes in exasperation.

"...Dean?"

"Yeah, Cas?"

"Did that make you uncomfortable?"

"...Not really, no."

"Ah. That's good."

The hunter pulled a face. "...Ew."

"What is it?"

"The kid's getting hard."

"Yes, I believe that people do get erections when they are engaging in sexual acts."

"Yeah, but why do they have a cactus on the screen at the same time? That's just... ew."

"Connotations?"

That made his shivers of disgust even worse. Great job, Cas. "...Yeah, kind of."

"..."

"..."

"...Dean." Muttered Cas urgently.

"..."

"What is he doing with that ice cube?"

"..."

"... _Dean._ "

"...Holy shit."

"Is that child orgasming?"

"...Okay, whoa, ice cubes do _not_ go there. And no, that's precum. You wouldn't know what it is because you're a virgin."

"...Was that-"

"He just shoved an ice cube up a kid's fucking _ass_."

"That... seems rather... unsanitary."

"It's gross, Cas."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"... Oh, hell..." Dean groaned.

"... Ochinchin? It says it's a childs way of refering to the penis in Japanese... Interesting."

"That's not interesting, Cas. They're about to have anal."

"...Oh."

"Yeah. 'Oh.'"

"..."

"..."

"So the child is called 'Pico'?"

"Apparently."

"..."

"Oh thank the lord, that scene is over."

"Was it truly so horrifying?"

"Ice cubes, Cas. I'm never going to be able to use ice cubes again."

"Ah."

"...Nice to see that they're letting us enjoy the scenery in this porn."

"...That was sarcasm, correct?"

"Learning well, little birdie."

"Dean, I am clearly not a bird. I am an-"

"Yeah, whatever. They both have wings."

"Dean, I-"

"Cas. Can you hear that?"

"...I can't hear anything other than this video."

"Exactly. It was the sound of how many shits I give."

"..." Castiel pouted and looked away.

"Aww, butthurt?"

"... I don't understand why I would have pain coming from my anus." The glare that Dean got from the angel forced him to sigh in defeat.

"... Let's just watch this shit, okay Cas?"

"...Okay."

"..."

"..."

"... Man, that is just _wrong."_ Dean's face was twisted into a grimace.

"I agree. That is rather perverted."

"Adult guys don't just watch naked little kids."

"..."

"And- holy shit, he's _paying for another look?_ "

"It seems so."

"Damn. Pico better lock his door at night."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"And now he's going to a bar. Lowlife."

"...So he is going to get drunk?"

"That's why people go to bars, Cas."

"How do you know it's a bar?"

"Let's say I'm an expert."

"..."

"..."

"... Is that Pic- yes it is."

"Poor kid. That fucking pedo is there."

"...What is 'the usual'?"

"Cas, I don't know. There is no way for me to know."

"... I feel rather sorry for Pico."

"What? Why? He's only a kid and he gets more sex than you."

"... I was going to say that he has no friends, followed by how I'm lucky to have you and Sam, but no."

"Aw, just because you're a baby in a trench coat doesn't mean that you have to cry like one." Cas glared at him fiercely before turning his attention back to the screen.

"..."

"Ha. 'Keep him company.' Don't worry, old man, Pico is going to have company all night long."

"...Was that a sexual reference?"

"Why, of course not! As if I, Dean Winchester, womaniser and all round sex expert, would make a dirty joke! How absurd!"

".........sarcam................."

 "You don't say?" Dean huffed out, smirking while the angel next to him shifted in discomfort and ever so not so slight anger bubbling.

"..."

"...Jesus, no one just flirts with five year olds like that. Or holds hands with kids they've just met."

"...It seems that Tamotsu is being flirted with, too."

"He's blushing. At a five year old boy."

"...Was that a 'love bite' that he just gave Pico?"

"...As I said. Pedo."

"...."

"...Not ice cream. Oh god."

"What? Why?"

"There is no way to eat ice cream in a non-sexual- oh look, an example."

"Oh."

"...And an indirect kiss? _Really_?"

"What's wrong with that?"

"It's just sharing spit. It's 'erotic'. Hey, I'm not complaining about a good makeout session, but..."

"...So you don't find it... 'erotic'?"

"Hell no. It's disgusting!"

"...I'll keep that in mind."

"What?" Dean cocked an eyebrow in surprise and disbelief.

"What?" Castiel replied, looking like a pidgeon in the headlights.

"..."

". . ."

"Cas."

"I didn't say anything." He was totally flustered.

"Really? Because I- oh."

"What is it?" Truly, he was thankful for the change of subject.

"If he's spilled the ice cream on his body, Pico will..."

"...What?"

"..."

"That.... vaguely resembles oral sex."

"Aaaaaand here's what I was dreading."

"Why would you- _oh."_

"Exactly."

"That looked rather sexual."

"Yeah. And now they're making out."

"Is that not just kis... That... escalated extremely quickly."

"It's usually quicker than that. This just sensationalises it."

"Okay... What's happening to the-"

"Food kink. _Great._ "

"...Is the belly button a sexual stimulous?"

"Not rea- here's the dick."

"What? Where?"

"Wow, Cas. Excited much?"

"...No."

"...Whatever. Hey, look! The kid's hard again!"

"Pico is orgasming slightly again."

"You don't say. Ew. Foreskin."

"..."

"To be honest, I was expecting more than a hand- oh, speak of the devil."

"... That does look very slightly..." Trailing off, Castiel glanced at Dean from the corner of his eye.

"..."

"..."

Dean closed his eyes and sighed. "...Cas, please don't say you have a boner."

"Nothing of the sort. I was merely... thinking."

"..."

"..."

"...About what?"

"... Nothing."

"..." Dean narrowed his eyes.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"..."

"...What?"

"...Nothing, I was merely checking that you were okay. You seemed-"

"I'm fine. Let's just watch."

"Okay then."

"... Ha! 'Is this the first time you've done this?' Yes Mokkun, because five year olds have usually lost their golden V."

"...Really? I'd thought that the legal age was-"

"Sarcasm, Cas."

"Ah. Yes. Of course."

It was at this point that the two were far too wrapped up in watching Boku no Pico to notice the door opening and a giant moose stepping in, red rims still clear around his eyes.

"...Oh shit y'all. Blow job alert."

"Er... Dean? What're you..." Sam trailed off, too busy trying not to imagine a situation in which Dean would talk about blow jobs to his angel. He hoped to god that he hadn't walked in on his brother having some form of sex. Again. His eyes widened when he spotted Cas. Not really in surprise - even _Lucifer_ thought they were together, as Sam once discovered - but he didn't exactly want to see whatever they were up to.

Castiel furrowed his eyebrows when Dean slammed the laptop and jumped off his chair, all while squawking the word 'nothing'. His face was bright red, which the angel couldn't help but find rather endearing. Sam frowned in suspicion.

"...Dean. What did I walk in on?"

"D-Dude, nothing, I _swear._ " He narrowed his eyes and gave up on his brother. Instead, he turned to Castiel.

"Cas. Tell me."

He glanced at Dean, followed by a quick look at te corner of the room when he saw the pleading look in his eyes. But, of course, he stared back at Dean. For a while. If any outsider saw it, they'd describe it as 'eye sex'. Hell, even people they knew (not excluding Sam, Gabriel and even _Meg_ ) had called it as such. Once their eye conversation was done, he turned to Sam.

"If Dean wants to keep things confidential, it will stay as such." The giant's bitch face  doubled in strength.

"Fine. Fine! Do whatever! I'm going out!" He stormed off and slammed the door loudly. Dean let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding.

"That... I don't know whether that was a lucky break or if he got the wrong idea..."

"He doesn't know what we were watching."

"Yeah. You're right, it must be-"

"But I do believe he thought we had been engaging in sexual acts."

"..."

"...Dean?"

"...Fuck." Dean slammed his head into his hands and groaned inhumanely. Castiel patted him on the back.

"...I assume that now is not the time to continue watching... that."

"Ya think?"


End file.
